Beanpie - Volume 4 Episode 1: Turtle and The Hair

Written by Shaun Bolden

Photography by Shay Bolden

Opening scene: Beanpie is sitting on his bed thinking of a new plan.

Beanpie (to self): Man, this has got to be the weirdest series of events that has ever happened to anyone. I just can’t believe this keeps happening to me. I am not going to give up now. But I have no idea of what to do. Think man think.

*Beanpie begins to scratch his head and feels his hair

Beanpie (to self): That’s it! I can create a hair tonic that will grow hair on bald men. I know I can do it. I just have to put those good grades in chemistry to use.

Scene 2:Beanpie is in his room writing a recipe and he writes down numerous formulas. After he comes up with the ideal formula he heads to the store to collect the ingredients

Charlene: Hey Beanpie, how’s the dog food salesman doing?
Beanpie: Well love, it didn’t do anything. I got robbed……again
Charlene: Somebody robbed you for dog food, man what is this world coming to?
Beanpie: I don’t know love, but this time I am going to make hair restoring tonic. I am a genius when it comes to chemistry. I don’t know why I haven’t thought of this before. Now I will make a killing off of this.
Charlene: Wow, you are really going to make a hair restoring tonic? How will you know if it works?
Beanpie: I have a test dummy.
Charlene: How long will it take you to finish?
Beanpie: I should be done by the end of the week.
Charlene: Let me know when you finish, I want to see this thing in action. Can I ask you a question? Why do you do this?
Beanpie: I really want to buy a spot in the flea market, but I don’t want to waste money. That’s why I hustle on my own to make sure there is a demand for my products.
Charlene: Well, why don’t you start selling Viagra?
Beanpie: I don’t think it will be safe to sell my own blood to people.
Charlene: Quite the potent one aren’t you? Just keep me posted.
Beanpie: No problem, I’ll just be picking these things up and on my way.

*Beanpie picks up what he needs, and heads back home to work

Scene 3: Beanpie is in his basement putting the chemicals together, and as he is fixing the tonic, he begins to think.

Beanpie (to self): Alright, now that I have the solution all prepared, I need a guinea pig for my experiment and I know just who to use. (yells) Oh Tailgate can you come here for a second?

*Tailgate runs downstairs to see what Beanpie wants

Tailgate: What do you want man? Did you use the glue instead of the lotion again? I am not helping you with this one, that is a personal problem.
Beanpie: Whatever weenies boy, come here I want to show you something

*Tailgate walks around the table looking at everything

Tailgate: Wow, what are you doing down here? It looks like a mad scientists laboratory, only you’re not smart enough to boil water so what are you up to?
Beanpie: Well, I have created a hair restoring tonic
Tailgate: Does it work?
Beanpie: I don’t know yet, I have to test it and see.
Tailgate: What idiot did you get to try this stupid thing on?

*Beanpie looks at Tailgate and smiles and Tailgate starts backing away

Tailgate: Oh no, you better try that on one of your bald headed girlfriends or something, because you are NOT trying that on me.
Beanpie: C’mon mate, let me just pour a little on you, all the girls will think you finally reached puberty.
Tailgate: Nah ah, you are not using me….HELP!!!!!

*Tailgate runs up the stairs and out of the door and Beanpie chases him, while running around Shaun’s car, and after a few laps some of the solution spills on the hood

Tailgate: Ooohhh, Shaun is gonna whoop your ass
Beanpie: Shutup govy, me and Ice Juicy are tight, all I have to do is explain it to him.

*Shaun appears behind Beanpie

Shaun: Explain what?
Beanpie: Hey man, what’s up Ice Juicy
Tailgate: He spilled his ghetto rogaine on your car
Shaun: WHAT?!
Beanpie: Hey there homie, my brotha, it was just an accident
Shaun: I just waxed my car, where did you spill it?
Tailgate: Right here

*Shaun and Tailgate look at the spot while Beanpie tries to sneak away. Then Shaun and Tailgate looked surprised

Shaun: Ayo Beanpie, what exactly is this that you spilled on my car?
Beanpie: Ah, my new hair restorer
Shaun: Well I don’t know about a hair restorer, but can you come and look at this?

*Beanpie walks slowly to the car and is shocked to see what happened

Shaun: I have never in my life seen a car shine like this
Beanpie: Holy bloody chrome, I can see my future on the hood.
Shaun: Hey how much of that stuff do you have?
Beanpie: This is the only batch, but I have the formula in the basement
Shaun: This is the first thing I’ve seen you make that I would actually buy.
Beanpie: Do you mean that Ice…..I mean Shaun?
Shaun: Yeah, I would buy this in a heartbeat. Do you think you can make some for me?
Beanpie: Yeah, I just have to go back to the store and get more supplies.