Written by Shaun Bolden
Photography by Shay Bolden
Beanpie (to self): Today govy, I’m gonna make the ultimate tea party.....Beanpie will go down in history as the tea king. I’ve come too far and worked too hard to fail. Nothing can stop me this time.
*Beanpie in his room writing a recipe for tea while watching a local tv food show.
Beanpie (humming): Uh hm....uh hm....uh hm
Lisa: Babe, what are you doing this time?
Beanpie: I’m making a recipe for tea, this is an untapped gold mine here
Lisa: It is not untapped, people make tea all over the world
Beanpie: Trust me on this one
Beanpie: I can do this Lis, I have the recipe, I am the manpower, and with Ice Juicy’s help I’ll take over the industry
Lisa: He is so not gonna help you on this one
Beanpie: He’s my main govy, he’s always down for his BP
Lisa: Yeah right, just like the last time he helped you out.
Beanpie: Just a minor setback, this time he’s sure to help me out.
Lisa: Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.
*Beanpie in the kitchen staring at fresh tea leaves he just received in the mail.
Beanpie (to self): Alright, what to do, what to do. I thought these would be dried and processed already.
*Enter Tailgate
Tailgate: What is this? Are you becoming a sissy gardener?
Beanpie: Shut up stupid monkey, you have no idea of what I’m doing.
Tailgate: Well why don’t you tell me grass fairy
*Beanpie slaps Tailgate on top of the head
Beanpie: This govy is my ticket to wealth, Behold the tea leaves
Tailgate: Oh, you’re not the garden fairy, you’re a tea fairy. That’s so gay.
Beanpie: Whatever you ape faced arachnid, when I get rich, I’ll put you on display at the local freak show.
*Tailgate gives Beanpie a low blow and runs away
Tailgate: See ya queen of the tea leaves
Beanpie (shouts): Wait’ll I get you, you’re gonna regret that shot
*Beanpie stares once again at the leaves scratching head trying to figure out a way to dry the leaves out
*Beanpie looks around the kitchen, stops at the microwave
Beanpie: That should dry the leaves right out mate
*Beanpie is outside on his back porch thinking of a way to package his tea. He then sees Ice Juicy
Beanpie: Yo, Ice Juicy, what’s the deal govy?
Shaun: My name is Shaun
Beanpie I’ve got a question for you mate
Shaun (sighs): Shoot
Beanpie: Well, I have a new sham
Shaun: Wow, that’s a surprise
Beanpie: Wait, let me finish. I have an idea on how to reach an untapped market. I am going to sell tea
Shaun: You’re selling tea?
Beanpie: Yes, and it’s all natural. I just finished drying the leaves and now I need to package it.
Shaun: Are you serious?
Beanpie: Yes I am
Shaun (laughing): Yo, this is NOT England. We don’t have tea and biscuits here. You were better off with that soap idea. Whatever happened with that?
Beanpie: These two hooligans took all of my soap.
Shaun: You got jumped by some kids and they took your soap?
Beanpie: Well, one kicked me in the shin, and the other poked me in the eyes. Then they grabbed my soap and ran.
Shaun: So you expect me to believe two kids, beat you, no poked you and then robbed you, for soap nonetheless. Yeah right. Just admit that your idea to sell soap was not a good one.
Beanpie: I’m telling you mate, that is the truth. I was robbed.
Shaun: Whatever, what did you want to ask me?
Beanpie: Oh yeah, well I was looking for suggestions on how I should package my tea.
Shaun: Man I am the wrong one to ask. I just deliver the mail and keep it movin. Just get some plastic bags and bag it up. That’s what I suggest.
Beanpie: That sounds like a plan. Thanks govy, you have truly earned the name Ice Juicy
Shaun: My name is Shaun
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