Beanpie – Volume 1 Episode 2: Squeaky Clean - By Shaun Bolden/Pic By Shay Bolden

*Beanpie is at the local Dollar store trying to find some clear bottles. He walks over to a clerk to ask for some help

Beanpie: Excuse me, can you tell me where I might find some empty bottles?
Clerk: What kind of bottles?
Beanpie: Plastic bottles.
Clerk: What kind of plastic bottles?
Beanpie: Tall clear plastic bottles.
Clerk: What are you using these bottles for sir?
Beanpie: I am going to be selling soap in them.

*Clerk breaks out in outrageous laughter

Clerk: You are gonna sell soap?
Beanpie: Yes, and pretty soon you’ll see my soap everywhere. And if you act right young lady, I may take you to the top with me.
Clerk: Yeah right, we’ll be on the top of idiots most wanted.
Beanpie: Whatever, can you tell me where they are?
Clerk: In aisle 5.
Beanpie: Thanks……(mumbles) slut.

*Beanpie looks at a bunch of bottles and then grabs about 20 normal sized bottles, and heads to the register

Clerk 2: What are you gonna do with all of these bottles?
Beanpie: Ah yes, I am going to be selling my own dishwashing liquid.
Clerk 2: That sounds good, how much you gonna charge a bottle?
Beanpie: About $4.
Clerk 2: What? Is it all natural?
Beanpie: No.
Clerk 2: Is it scented?
Beanpie: No.
Clerk 2: Does it soften your hands?
Beanpie: Ah, no.
Clerk 2: And you’re selling this for $4.
Beanpie: Yes I am.
Clerk 2: What is so special about this soap?
Beanpie: Well, I made it by hand.
Clerk 2: And….
Beanpie: And what?
Clerk 2: (Laughing) Keep the receipt so you can get your money back.
Beanpie: What’s so funny?
Clerk 2: You are selling homemade soap, with no added features for $4 a bottle, that’s what’s funny.

*Beanpie grabs the bottles and storms off.

*Beanpie is walking back to his house with a duffel bag full of empty bottles when he sees Ice Juicy

Beanpie: Hey Ice Juicy, my man, what’s the deal govy?
Shaun: My name is Shaun.
Beanpie: I know, but Ice Juicy has so much more flavor mate.
Shaun: It sounds like a pedophile disguised as an Ice Cream salesman.
Beanpie: Whatever govy. I got a spankin new sham, want in on it?
Shaun: You have the most idiotic schemes, and NO, I don’t want in on this nonsense.
Beanpie: You haven’t even heard what it is.
Shaun: Lemme guess. You have a bag full of empty bottles…..hmmm…you’re hustling stupid by the ounce.
Beanpie: Haha, very funny mate. Now, what you see before you is a state of the art, new millennium, dish washing liquid dispenser.
Shaun: All I see are bottles.
Beanpie: I made a homemade soap govy.
Shaun: And how much are you selling this bull…..I mean soap for?
Beanpie: $4 a bottle.
Shaun: What? Is it all natural?
Beanpie: No.
Shaun: Is it scented?
Beanpie: No.
Shaun: Does it soften your hands?
Beanpie: Ah, no.
Shaun: And you’re selling this for $4
Beanpie: Yes I am.
Shaun (shaking his head) : I don’t think this is gonna work out at all.
Beanpie: What do you mean? This is the perfect sham.
Shaun: The only thing that is gonna be cleaned is your wallet.
Beanpie: I’ll let you think on that one. I’ll get back to you later, I’ve gotta go bottle this stuff up.
Shaun (Walking away): Whatever, take it easy.
Beanpie: Peace Ice Juicy.
Shaun (Yells): My name is Shaun!