Written by Shaun Bolden
Photograhy by Shay Bolden
*Beanpie is in the bathroom filling the bottles, when his girlfriend Lisa enters
Lisa: Tailgate told me that you were going to be selling dish washing liquid.
Beanpie: Isn’t that the best sham I’ve had?
Lisa: How about no.
Beanpie: You are supposed to be my main lady, support me.
Lisa: You know I support you. I pay your bills, buy your food, and every now and then I let you touch me.
Beanpie: Ha to the ha. Not like that. You’re supposed to support my decisions.
Lisa: Well let me see, support you in your decision not to get a job, but instead hustle the most idiotic household items at an outrageous price. Can’t say that I see a future in that.
Beanpie: This one is a winner love. I can’t fail. At $4 a bottle, I’ll be a millionaire in no time.
Lisa: $4 a bottle?!
Beanpie: Yes
Lisa: What? Is it all natural?
Beanpie: No
Lisa: Is it scented?
Beanpie: No
Lisa: Does it soften your hands?
Beanpie: Ah, no
Lisa: And you’re selling this for $4
Beanpie: Yes I am
Lisa: You really put the “smart” in not smart.
Beanpie: What? You mean you don’t think this will work?
Lisa: If it does, I’ll perform in a donkey show.
Beanpie: Well you’d better start doing your twat exercises, cuz this one will not fail.
Lisa: I don’t think so Randolph.
Beanpie: It’s Beanpie, and it will work.
Lisa: Whatever Mr. Beanpie. I’m off to work. (mumbles) Where you should be.
Beanpie: What was that dear?
Lisa: Oh nothing, see you later.
Beanpie: Bye love, and don’t forget to stretch, donkeys are well endowed.
*Beanpie is walking down the street with his loaded cart of soap when he is approached by some young boys.
Boy 1: Hey, what do you have there?
Beanpie: This? Well this here is world class homemade dishwashing liquid
Boy 2: How much is it?
Beanpie: $4
Boys 1 & 2: What?!?!?
Boy 1: What? Is it all natural?
Beanpie: No
Boy 2: Is it scented?
Beanpie: No
Boy 1: Does it soften your hands?
Beanpie: Ah, no
Boy 2: And you’re selling this for $4
Beanpie: Yes I am
Boy 1: I bet you won’t sell any of that raggedy soap at all
Boy 2: You’re an idiot with a stupid accent
Beanpie: Shut up! Don’t you two have some traffic you need to play in?
Boy 1: Well, I just finished with your mom, and she said you have to go home and clean your room
Beanpie: If you weren’t so small I would knock you out!
*Boy 2 kicks Beanpie in the shin
Beanpie: Ow, now why’d you go and do a thing like that?
*Boy 1 pokes BP in the eyes, while Boy 2 grabs the cart and the two kids run off with the soap
Beanpie: I’ll get you two little spider monkeys!! You better not ever come back around this way!!!!
*Beanpie walks back home with his head down mumbling
*Beanpie is back in his bed thinking of another sham so that he can make money
Beanpie (to self): I can’t dwell on that little setback. Those little delinquents will get theirs. I just can’t believe that happened to me. Oh well, they have not seen the last of me. I must come up with another way to make this business thing work.
*Beanpie is in the bathroom filling the bottles, when his girlfriend Lisa enters
Lisa: Tailgate told me that you were going to be selling dish washing liquid.
Beanpie: Isn’t that the best sham I’ve had?
Lisa: How about no.
Beanpie: You are supposed to be my main lady, support me.
Lisa: You know I support you. I pay your bills, buy your food, and every now and then I let you touch me.
Beanpie: Ha to the ha. Not like that. You’re supposed to support my decisions.
Lisa: Well let me see, support you in your decision not to get a job, but instead hustle the most idiotic household items at an outrageous price. Can’t say that I see a future in that.
Beanpie: This one is a winner love. I can’t fail. At $4 a bottle, I’ll be a millionaire in no time.
Lisa: $4 a bottle?!
Beanpie: Yes
Lisa: What? Is it all natural?
Beanpie: No
Lisa: Is it scented?
Beanpie: No
Lisa: Does it soften your hands?
Beanpie: Ah, no
Lisa: And you’re selling this for $4
Beanpie: Yes I am
Lisa: You really put the “smart” in not smart.
Beanpie: What? You mean you don’t think this will work?
Lisa: If it does, I’ll perform in a donkey show.
Beanpie: Well you’d better start doing your twat exercises, cuz this one will not fail.
Lisa: I don’t think so Randolph.
Beanpie: It’s Beanpie, and it will work.
Lisa: Whatever Mr. Beanpie. I’m off to work. (mumbles) Where you should be.
Beanpie: What was that dear?
Lisa: Oh nothing, see you later.
Beanpie: Bye love, and don’t forget to stretch, donkeys are well endowed.
*Beanpie is walking down the street with his loaded cart of soap when he is approached by some young boys.
Boy 1: Hey, what do you have there?
Beanpie: This? Well this here is world class homemade dishwashing liquid
Boy 2: How much is it?
Beanpie: $4
Boys 1 & 2: What?!?!?
Boy 1: What? Is it all natural?
Beanpie: No
Boy 2: Is it scented?
Beanpie: No
Boy 1: Does it soften your hands?
Beanpie: Ah, no
Boy 2: And you’re selling this for $4
Beanpie: Yes I am
Boy 1: I bet you won’t sell any of that raggedy soap at all
Boy 2: You’re an idiot with a stupid accent
Beanpie: Shut up! Don’t you two have some traffic you need to play in?
Boy 1: Well, I just finished with your mom, and she said you have to go home and clean your room
Beanpie: If you weren’t so small I would knock you out!
*Boy 2 kicks Beanpie in the shin
Beanpie: Ow, now why’d you go and do a thing like that?
*Boy 1 pokes BP in the eyes, while Boy 2 grabs the cart and the two kids run off with the soap
Beanpie: I’ll get you two little spider monkeys!! You better not ever come back around this way!!!!
*Beanpie walks back home with his head down mumbling
*Beanpie is back in his bed thinking of another sham so that he can make money
Beanpie (to self): I can’t dwell on that little setback. Those little delinquents will get theirs. I just can’t believe that happened to me. Oh well, they have not seen the last of me. I must come up with another way to make this business thing work.
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