Sex is Complicated?!

On How Love Is:The Complications of S-E-X
Written by: Billy Winn

Why does the introduction of sex always seem to complicate things?! It’s a question I’ve asked myself time and time again—never seeming to find an answer that satisfies the circumstances. A relationship that has not yet made it to romance could be going in the perfect direction for romance—then, out of nowhere, the act of sex changes the perspectives of everyone involved, leaving the situation in utter ruin. It’s happened to me time after time, and, as I once again find myself surveying not just mine, but the circumstances of others, I wonder if the question isn’t “Why does sex complicate things?” but rather “Why do we allow it to?”

We started off as friends—sharing many of the same interests, frequenting the same places, and running in the same social circles, so upon first glance it looked like it could be a match made in heaven. For whatever reason, though, the relationship stalled at a friendship, which is by no means a bad thing, but the thought of taking it to another level still loomed large. Neither of us shared our feelings out right—perhaps we hinted around to it, but that only proved to be anti-productive, because at the end of the day, we remained just friends. That is of, course, until that faithful night when it became clear we both had feelings that transcended the “friends” line, and, before I knew it, we’d crossed that line, never to return again.

What I realized in this situation was that we both did, in fact, have feelings beyond a friendship. But, because we never actually stated what those feelings were, we each assumed that the other felt the same way—when in truth—we were in two different places altogether. While one of us was considering the possibility of love, the other considered the possibility of sex. We both obliged to the latter however, and that’s when the complications took over. I didn’t know this was a situation all too familiar to many, so when I shared it with a friend, I was shocked, but relieved to know someone else had eXperienced what I was going through. It made me stop and think—for real this time—about our approach to relationships and where eXactly we were going wrong with it all. My answer: we were going wrong by offering sex with the hopes that love will eventually manifest.

To see the entire article, click the link below:
http://etmmagazine.info/wakeup/2010/articles/03/2010_03_howloveis.html