Outnumbered # 34 - By Christopher Brown

Beanpie - Volume 6 Episode 1: Putting it all together

Written by Shaun Bolden
Photography by Shaun Bolden

*Opening Scene: Beanpie is on his front porch holding the piece of cloth when Jamie (Tailgates homeboy) comes by.

Jamie: Is Tailgate home?
Beanpie: He’s inside playing in the toilet again
Jamie: What’s that?
Beanpie: It’s a piece of cloth someone lost yesterday. It ripped off of someone last night, and I found it in my basement.
Jamie: It looks like a piece of an apron from the store around the corner.

*Beanpie looks closely at the cloth

Beanpie: You’re right it does.
Tailgate: Hey Detective Have-No-Clue, how’s the case going?
Beanpie: I think I just may know where to go next.

*Scene 2: Beanpie is on his way to the store and is thinking about how to go about finding the person that came into his basement.

Beanpie (to self): I have to find out who did this. I know it was someone from the store. Could it have been Charlene? I don’t think so, she always helps me, and wants me to blow up.

*Along comes Shaun walking his daily route

Shaun: So how is the newest gardening invention holding up?
Beanpie: It got stolen last night.
Shaun: Really? How many times is this now?
Beanpie: Too many to count govy. I think I know who is behind all of this. Once I find out, I’ll let you know.
Shaun: Alright, it sounds like you’re an undercover cop. That’s hilarious.

*Scene 3: Beanpie walks into the store, and looks around. Then he is approached by Charlene.

Charlene: So, how’d it go last night?
Beanpie: Not so well, they made off with all of my newest inventions
Charlene: Really? I thought you had a master plan.
Beanpie: Whoever it was got in and out before the solution became sticky.
Charlene: Are you going to try something else?
Beanpie: No, I have a clue. I think I know where the person is. Would you mind letting me see your vest?
Charlene: Sure, why not.

*She takes it off, and Beanpie looks at it, it is in perfect shape.

Beanpie: How many of these do you have?
Charlene: I only have one. This cheap store only gives one to each employee.
Beanpie: Alright thanks for the info. I have to get back home and check on some things
Charlene: You mean you’re not working on anything new to hustle?
Beanpie: Not until I find out who is behind this.

*Beanpie heads to the front door when another clerk from the store bumps him on the way out

Clerk: Sorry about that
Beanpie: No worries mate

*Beanpie notices that the clerk’s vest is missing a piece. He makes a mental note and then leaves.


You're now officially caught up on Beanpie! Make sure you check back here every Friday for all new Beanpie!!!! Wooooooooo BEANPIE BEANPIE BEANPIE BEANPIE!

Beanpie - Volume 5 Episode 2: A Better Mouse Trap

Written by Shaun Bolden

Photography by Shay Bolden

*Scene 4 Beanpie is at the store getting a bunch of phony supplies when the clerk Charlene comes up to talk to him

Charlene: Hey bootleg businessman. Did you blow up yet?
Beanpie: No, some bull happened again, but I have a plan this time.
Charlene: Oh yeah, and what might that be?
Beanpie: See, I keep getting robbed. I’m gonna set up a trap. I’m telling everyone that I’m making a gardening product, and storing it in my basement. In reality I am setting up a trap in the basement with my new invention.
Charlene: So, this new product is fake?
Beanpie: Oh no, this stuff really works. It will be staying with me this time.
Charlene: What kind of trap will be in the basement?
Beanpie: I am actually going to make a very sticky solvent that will activate once the door opens. It takes about a minute to get sticky, so the thief will get in pretty far, but won’t get out.
Charlene: You have it all worked out. Tomorrow be sure to come back and let me know who it is.
Beanpie: Will do love, see ya.

* Scene 5: Beanpie and Tailgate are in the basement setting this trap up

Tailgate: Are you sure we won’t get stuck on this glue?
Beanpie: We won’t, it will activate once the door opens. The difference in humidity will make it sticky.
Tailgate: Alright, I just want to see who the genius is that actually takes time out of his day to steal your stupidity.
Beanpie: Anyone can see that I come up with the best inventions.
Tailgate: Let’s just hurry up, I’m starting to get light headed. These fumes are too much.
Beanpie: (Laughs) With a head that size you should never be light headed.
Tailgate: Shutup and hurry.

*Beanpie and Tailgate finish putting the solution on the floor

Beanpie: Okay, now we need to leave the door unlocked, so whoever it is will be able to get in.
Tailgate: So, how sticky does this stuff get?
Beanpie: This is like krazy glue on steroids.
Tailgate: This better work, I have a serious headache from putting it down.
Beanpie: Let’s get out of here.

*Beanpie and Tailgate go upstairs and head to their rooms

*Scene 6: Beanpie is in his room waiting for something to happen when he hears a bunch of rustling in his basement. He heads downstairs to see what’s going on. He sees that everything is gone, and no sign of anyone. Then Tailgate comes down

Beanpie: They got everything
Tailgate: I thought this stuff was supposed to hold whoever came.
Beanpie: It was, they must’ve gotten in and out before it had a chance to get sticky
Tailgate: Ahhhh, you idiot. How do you manage to hand someone your newest invention? You are an A Class idiot.
Beanpie: I don’t need this right now mate, I have to look around and see if anything was left behind
Tailgate: Well I’m going back to bed to try and sleep this headache off.

*Beanpie walks around the basement looking at everything that was turned upside down and searches the area where his product was staged. He then goes to the door, and notice a piece of cloth that was stuck to the handle.

Beanpie: Whoever it was left a piece of their shirt.

*Scene 7: Beanpie is at kitchen table with the piece of cloth in hand.

Beanpie (to self): I have to figure out who took this. I have this to go by. I can’t concentrate on anything new until I catch whoever it is behind this. It just doesn’t make sense, who can it be?

Beanpie - Volume 5 Episode 1: Building a better mouse trap

Written By: Shaun Bolden
Photography By: Shay Bolden


*Opening Scene Beanpie is in his room looking around and thinking hard

Beanpie (to self): This doesn’t make any sense. I know someone is behind this, but who? I know that it couldn’t be Lisa, and Ice Juicy could care less about my stuff. I have to find out who is behind all of the nonsense. Right now everyone is a suspect.

*Scene 2 Beanpie is in his room sulking/thinking when Tailgate comes in.

Tailgate: What’s the matter oh King of Hustlers?
Beanpie: Not right now little goat, I have to find out who is stealing all of my goods.
Tailgate: You honestly think there is one mastermind out there trying to take all that YOU have? I think not.
Beanpie: I know there is. Every single time that I create something, it gets stolen. Don’t you find that a bit odd?
Tailgate: Well, now that you mention it, it does seem a bit fishy. Why would someone want to take your idiotic ideas?
Beanpie: Exactly…..wait a minute, my ideas are not idiotic, if they were would anyone try to steal them?
Tailgate: Whatever. If someone is trying to steal your stuff, why don’t you set them up?
Beanpie: Alright, that sounds good, but how do you suggest I go about doing that?
Tailgate: Make something, and just run your mouth like you usually do, then set up a trap for whoever tries to steal it.
Beanpie: That is exactly what I need to do. I knew you spider monkeys would come in handy one day.
Tailgate: Yeah right, I just don’t understand how primates can even find the bathroom, let alone invent something. By the way, Geico called and said they need you for another commercial shoot.
Beanpie: Very funny, now move so I can get ready to set this trap.

*Tailgate leaves and Beanpie gets ready to go out and set the trap up.

*Scene 3 Beanpie is walking to the store when he runs into Shaun

Beanpie: Hey Ice Juicy, my main govy. What’s going on?
Shaun: My name is…..forget it. It’s just another day at work.
Beanpie: I have my idea for my next sham.
Shaun: Oh brother, what stupidity did you come up with this time?
Beanpie: Well mate, I this time I have come up with the ultimate gardening product.
Shaun: And what might that be?
Beanpie: Well, you know how the plant food nowadays is so expensive?
Shaun: So
Beanpie: I have come up with an inexpensive way to grow your plants.
Shaun: Is this the part where I jump for joy?
Beanpie: Whatever Ice Juicy, I’m just informing you of my new product
Shaun: Well Randolph, I am just informing you that my name is Shaun and I could care less about a gardening product. I have work to do, so I will be on my way.
Beanpie: Alright. The solution will be done tonight, and I will leave it in my basement when I’m done.
Shaun: You told me that because?
Beanpie: No reason. See ya.

*Beanpie continues walking down the street

Beanpie (to self): Hmmmm, trying to act like he doesn’t care. I think he may just be acting to avoid being a suspect. Now to let Lisa in on my newest invention

*Beanpie calls Lisa at work

Lisa: Hello
Beanpie: Hey love, how are you today?
Lisa: I’m fine, and what do you want?
Beanpie: Hahaha very funny, I don’t want a thing love. Just calling to fill you in on the newest invention.
Lisa: Can’t this wait until I get home?
Beanpie: I really wanted to tell you. I am making a new plant food that will be inexpensive and great for your garden.
Lisa: Is that it?
Beanpie: No, I will be leaving it in the basement tonight. Okay?
Lisa: Alrighty then, I have to go and do some real work now. Bye-bye Randolph
Beanpie: It’s Beanpie, and goodbye love.

*Beanpie hangs up the phone

Beanpie (to self): Alright, now Lisa knows too. All the pieces are in place.

Beanpie - Volume 4 Episode 2: Turtle and The Hair

Written by Shaun Bolden

Photography by Shay Bolden

Scene 4: Beanpie heads back to the store and again runs into Charlene

Charlene: So, did you get the hair restorer down?
Beanpie: No, I’ve got something even better than that
Charlene: Oh, so you did invent the Viagra
Beanpie: No love, I have invented a better car polish.
Charlene: Oh really.
Beanpie: Yeah, now I have to pick up some more stuff so I can sell this stuff asap
Charlene: And where exactly are you making this car polish?
Beanpie: I’m using my basement as a lab.
Charlene: Alright I see you have got Turtle wax beat now.
Beanpie: This is way better than any wax from a turtle.
Charlene: Alright I won’t stop you go ahead and do your thing.

*Beanpie collects what he needs in a hurry and runs back to his lab.

Scene 5: Beanpie is in his lab again, he is furiously working on his new car polish

Beanpie (to self): Well now, I want to start moving this as soon as possible. I should have 50 bottles by morning. This will definitely give me what I need to get into the Flea market. This plan can not fail. I have it locked up inside and Lisa is out of town for a few days. Finally Beanpie comes out on top.

*Beanpie finishes making about 50 bottles of solution and then heads to bed for the night.

Scene 6: Beanpie wakes up and gets ready to start the day. Ready to hustle his new car polish and make money

Beanpie (to self): Alright govy get ready because today is it. Now all I have to do is look professional, and I will sell this like there is no tomorrow

*Beanpie hums a tune while walking into the basement, only to see it has been broken into, and all of his bottles and his formula have been stolen

Beanpie (yells): What the bloody hell is going on here?

*Tailgate comes running downstairs

Tailgate: What are you yelling about?
Beanpie: Somebody has stolen all of my polish
Tailgate: WHAT?!
Beanpie: Hey mate did Lisa come here last night?
Tailgate: I don’t think so, isn’t she out of town?
Beanpie: That’s right, I have no clue who could have done this. Man, I finally get something that can really put me on the map, and it gets stolen from me.
Tailgate: Call the cops
Beanpie: No way, those blokes are no help. I have to find out who did this to me and get my stuff back.

*Beanpie runs back upstairs and calls Shaun. They have a brief conversation and then Beanpie hangs up.

Beanpie (to self): First the soap, then the tea, the dog food, and now this. How could someone possibly get robbed for his goods before they all hit the street? I thought it was Lisa, but she knew absolutely nothing about this one. Something is going on, and I am going to find out what or who it is.

Outnumbered # 33 - By Christopher Brown

Beanpie - Volume 4 Episode 1: Turtle and The Hair

Written by Shaun Bolden

Photography by Shay Bolden

Opening scene: Beanpie is sitting on his bed thinking of a new plan.

Beanpie (to self): Man, this has got to be the weirdest series of events that has ever happened to anyone. I just can’t believe this keeps happening to me. I am not going to give up now. But I have no idea of what to do. Think man think.

*Beanpie begins to scratch his head and feels his hair

Beanpie (to self): That’s it! I can create a hair tonic that will grow hair on bald men. I know I can do it. I just have to put those good grades in chemistry to use.

Scene 2:Beanpie is in his room writing a recipe and he writes down numerous formulas. After he comes up with the ideal formula he heads to the store to collect the ingredients

Charlene: Hey Beanpie, how’s the dog food salesman doing?
Beanpie: Well love, it didn’t do anything. I got robbed……again
Charlene: Somebody robbed you for dog food, man what is this world coming to?
Beanpie: I don’t know love, but this time I am going to make hair restoring tonic. I am a genius when it comes to chemistry. I don’t know why I haven’t thought of this before. Now I will make a killing off of this.
Charlene: Wow, you are really going to make a hair restoring tonic? How will you know if it works?
Beanpie: I have a test dummy.
Charlene: How long will it take you to finish?
Beanpie: I should be done by the end of the week.
Charlene: Let me know when you finish, I want to see this thing in action. Can I ask you a question? Why do you do this?
Beanpie: I really want to buy a spot in the flea market, but I don’t want to waste money. That’s why I hustle on my own to make sure there is a demand for my products.
Charlene: Well, why don’t you start selling Viagra?
Beanpie: I don’t think it will be safe to sell my own blood to people.
Charlene: Quite the potent one aren’t you? Just keep me posted.
Beanpie: No problem, I’ll just be picking these things up and on my way.

*Beanpie picks up what he needs, and heads back home to work

Scene 3: Beanpie is in his basement putting the chemicals together, and as he is fixing the tonic, he begins to think.

Beanpie (to self): Alright, now that I have the solution all prepared, I need a guinea pig for my experiment and I know just who to use. (yells) Oh Tailgate can you come here for a second?

*Tailgate runs downstairs to see what Beanpie wants

Tailgate: What do you want man? Did you use the glue instead of the lotion again? I am not helping you with this one, that is a personal problem.
Beanpie: Whatever weenies boy, come here I want to show you something

*Tailgate walks around the table looking at everything

Tailgate: Wow, what are you doing down here? It looks like a mad scientists laboratory, only you’re not smart enough to boil water so what are you up to?
Beanpie: Well, I have created a hair restoring tonic
Tailgate: Does it work?
Beanpie: I don’t know yet, I have to test it and see.
Tailgate: What idiot did you get to try this stupid thing on?

*Beanpie looks at Tailgate and smiles and Tailgate starts backing away

Tailgate: Oh no, you better try that on one of your bald headed girlfriends or something, because you are NOT trying that on me.
Beanpie: C’mon mate, let me just pour a little on you, all the girls will think you finally reached puberty.
Tailgate: Nah ah, you are not using me….HELP!!!!!

*Tailgate runs up the stairs and out of the door and Beanpie chases him, while running around Shaun’s car, and after a few laps some of the solution spills on the hood

Tailgate: Ooohhh, Shaun is gonna whoop your ass
Beanpie: Shutup govy, me and Ice Juicy are tight, all I have to do is explain it to him.

*Shaun appears behind Beanpie

Shaun: Explain what?
Beanpie: Hey man, what’s up Ice Juicy
Tailgate: He spilled his ghetto rogaine on your car
Shaun: WHAT?!
Beanpie: Hey there homie, my brotha, it was just an accident
Shaun: I just waxed my car, where did you spill it?
Tailgate: Right here

*Shaun and Tailgate look at the spot while Beanpie tries to sneak away. Then Shaun and Tailgate looked surprised

Shaun: Ayo Beanpie, what exactly is this that you spilled on my car?
Beanpie: Ah, my new hair restorer
Shaun: Well I don’t know about a hair restorer, but can you come and look at this?

*Beanpie walks slowly to the car and is shocked to see what happened

Shaun: I have never in my life seen a car shine like this
Beanpie: Holy bloody chrome, I can see my future on the hood.
Shaun: Hey how much of that stuff do you have?
Beanpie: This is the only batch, but I have the formula in the basement
Shaun: This is the first thing I’ve seen you make that I would actually buy.
Beanpie: Do you mean that Ice…..I mean Shaun?
Shaun: Yeah, I would buy this in a heartbeat. Do you think you can make some for me?
Beanpie: Yeah, I just have to go back to the store and get more supplies.

EYM celebrates Earth Day!

Below are some tips to help you do your part to save mother earth.....not just today, but always. FREE YOUR MIND!

Earth Day was first celebrated in 1970 after a senator from Wisconsin wanted a way to bring attention to environmental concerns. Twenty million Americans participated in the event. Last year, an estimated 1 billion people in 184 countries participated in Earth Day activities!

The average person creates about 4.3 pounds of trash per day.

The trash most commonly found in municipal landfills is plain old paper—on average, it accounts for more than 40 percent of a landfill's contents. Newspapers, which can be recycled, can take up as much as 13 percent of the space in US landfills and deteriorates very slowly in a landfill. Research has shown that, when excavated from a landfill, newspapers from the 1960s can be intact and readable!

Water-efficient fixtures can save you about 54,000 gallons in your home annually.

Recycling aluminum cans saves 95 percent of the energy required to make the same amount of aluminum from raw aluminum ore, bauxite.

Planting shade trees around your house can reduce your air conditioner bill by up to
75 percent, and save an average household $100-$250 in energy costs each year. In fact, plants can significantly reduce a building's energy needs since it's cooler in the shade of trees and warmer behind plants that block the winter winds.

Nearly 20 percent of a home's electricity use goes to lighting. Choosing energy-efficient lighting is an easy way to start using energy wisely. Switch out a single light bulb or fixture in your home to a light that's earned the government's ENERGY STAR for energy efficiency.

Transportation consumes about 25 percent of the total energy used in the United States. Driving can release harmful chemicals or other pollutants into the air. When, where, how, why and what you drive all play an important role in affecting air pollution. Drive wise and be more environmentally friendly when you need to get somewhere!

*Source: US Enviornmental Protection Agency

Beanpie - Volume 3 Episode 2: Dog Eat Dog World

Written By: Shaun Bolden
Photography By: Shay Bolden

Scene 4: Beanpie is back home putting together his recipe for dog food when Lisa walks into the house

Lisa: Hey Ran….I mean Beanpie
Beanpie: Hey love, how was work today?
Lisa: The same ol crap, some guys argued over a lady at work today. They both want to go out with her and both are scared to ask, but they seem to have worked up a way to argue about her.
Beanpie: She must be one sexy piece of……I mean she must be a nice looking woman
Lisa: Ha! If they knew like I knew, they’d leave her alone
Beanpie: And what is it that you know?
Lisa: I know that this particular woman pees standing up.
Beanpie: Are you saying these guys had a fight over a guy?
Lisa: I feel sorry for the winner.
Beanpie: I’m glad it’s not me. Anyway, I am making that dog food I was telling you about earlier.
Lisa: I really do not believe you are making dog food. I mean normal people cook and sell plates out of their house. Maybe even icees, but who sells dog food?
Beanpie: Exactly. No one has had an idea like this. And I am using organic ingredients. This will make us rich baby.
Lisa: And if it doesn’t will you then get a job?
Beanpie: Ha, like my idea can fail.
Lisa: Speaking of fail, did anything ever come of that little Tea-Bust the other day?
Beanpie: Nothing, I called the Police and they say they know nothing about it. It’s weird I tell you.
Lisa: Well I’m gonna take a shower, are we still on for the movies tonight?
Beanpie: Yup, I’m almost done here anyway. Let me put this in the shed for the night.

Scene 5: Beanpie is outside putting his dog food in the shed, when all of the sudden he is hit in the neck. He wakes up spread out on the lawn, and Lisa is standing over him.

Lisa: Babe, why are you out here asleep?
Beanpie: I have no clue. I was putting the dog food away, and then I woke up here.
Lisa: What is that on your neck?

*He rubs the back of his neck

Beanpie: Ow, I have no idea what happened
Lisa: It looks like you got hit.
Beanpie: What the….why would I get hit?
Lisa: I don’t know. Who have you pissed off lately?
Beanpie: No one that I know of.
Lisa: Well, I’m going back in, come with me so we can clean you up.
Beanpie: OK

*Beanpie walks over to where the dog food was and sees that it’s gone.

Beanpie (to self): This can not be happening. How is my dog food gone?! Who in the world would want to take dog food? Who was the only one around? Lisa?! No! She was the only one around. She knew where I was going to put my dog food. I have to keep a close eye on her.

Beanpie - Volume 3 Episode 1: Dog Eat Dog World

Written by Shaun Bolden

Photography by Shay Bolden

Opening scene: Beanpie is walking down the street.

Beanpie (to self): Alright govy, you can’t remain beaten. You are the number one street business man out here. There is no way a few setbacks can hold you down.

*He stops at a local kennel and gets an idea.

Beanpie (to self): That’s it! I’ll make dog food, and make a killing. This has no chance of failing. There is no way anyone can interfere with a man making dog food

Scene 2: Beanpie is on the internet looking for ways to make dog food when his brother walks by

Tailgate: Oh Randolph…
Beanpie: What do you want you little toad?
Tailgate: I need the computer for my school report on seals, but since you’re here I can interview you instead.
Beanpie; Ha to the ha….you seem to be the funniest muppet I know
Tailgate: Seriously, can you get off of the computer so I can use it?
Beanpie: One second zoo boy, lemme look one more thing up then it’s all yours.

*Tailgate leaves, Beanpie looks through different sites and finds numerous recipes for dog food. He mixes and matches and creates his own version of dog food. After he finishes, he taps his head thinking of a name for his product.

Beanpie: What to name it, what to name it. Let’s see….Good Dog? Nah too corny. Better than your master’s food…..Nope can’t use that. Ahh I got it

*Tailgate comes back to see if Beanpie is finished

Tailgate: Are you done looking at your porn yet?
Beanpie: I was not looking at porn, I am a ladies man, I make movies, I don’t watch.
Tailgate: Ha, tell that to our lotion shortage, the stains in the carpet, and the sticky keys on the keyboard.
Beanpie (stutters): Th-th-that was l-l-like that before….
Tailgate: Before what?
Beanpie: Shutup, I’m done don’t you want to use this computer?
Tailgate: Not before I wipe it down with bleach.

*Beanpie jots down a name and makes his way to the store for the ingredients.

Scene 3: Beanpie is at the store looking around for different items to create his dog food

Clerk 1: Hey there. It’s the (in an English accent) Bootlegger extraordinaire
Beanpie: And what might I do for you today my lady?
Clerk 1: Nothin, I’ve just been seeing you around a lot. Wondering if you needed some help looking for something.
Beanpie: No thanks love, I think I can handle this one on my own.
Clerk 1: By the way, my name is Charlene.

*She reaches out to shake Beanpie’s hand

Beanpie: Hello, they call me Beanpie, and I am not a bootlegger. I am an unofficial business man.
Charlene: Well then, Mr. Business man. How did the tea selling bit go?
Beanpie: Not so well. I never got to sell it. Some bloody copper thought I was trying to sell weed and took it from me.
Charlene: That sucks. What are you up to now?
Beanpie: I’m on to a new venture. I’m gonna sell dog food.
Charlene: How do you plan on doing that?
Beanpie: Well, I have found the perfect recipe with really inexpensive ingredients. All I have to do is pick them up, and bam. I can make a killing from organic dog food.
Charlene: Well, since men are dogs, what more can I expect,
Beanpie: Well then that would make the female dogs bi..
Charlene: Watch your mouth!
Beanpie: Whatev love, I just gotta get the rest of this stuff, so I’ll see you round uh?
Charlene: Alright Mr. Beanpie.