Written by: Shaun Bolden
Opening Scene: It is early Saturday morning and Beanpie is making breakfast. Tailgate is sitting around harassing him as usual.
Tailgate: I just think it’s funny, you make it all the way downtown, and then get bullied out of who knows how many spots. Once you get one, you sell absolutely nothing. At least we know one thing, no one is robbing you this time.
Beanpie: Whatever brov, I need to think of a plan to get my commodities on the market.
Tailgate: I have an idea.
Beanpie: Spit it out mate.
Tailgate: Well, get t-shirts made. You and Tony can be known as The Brothers Jerk.
Beanpie: Thank you for the fruitful advice. Now if you crawl back into your cage, I’ll feed you your sour milk and dung cutlets.
Tailgate: Hey, at least I’m giving you a few ideas. It’s not like that wonder brain of yours is churning anything out.
*In walks Lisa
Lisa: Fellas, don’t you think it’s a bit too early to be bickering?
Tailgate: It’s the only way to communicate with idiots. Not to worry, I have been doing it all of my life. You should try it some time.
Beanpie: Don’t listen to Zoo Boy over there. I made this for you.
*Beanpie hands Lisa a plate of homemade breakfast.
Lisa: Thanks Randolph. So what are you two arguing about this time?
Tailgate: I am just trying to help him come up with ideas for marketing his crap.
Beanpie: It is not crap, and you are definitely not helping.
Lisa: Oh, I see, you need a way to get your stuff known.
Beanpie: Exactly. I mean, I know my stuff is top-notch, but how do I get everyone else on the same page that I’m on.
Lisa: Well think about it for a sec. You need a good advertisement, that WON’T cost a lot of money. Can you spare a bottle of your car wax?
Beanpie I should be able to swing that. Why?
Lisa: Well, if you make sample bottles out of that one bottle people can at least try your stuff. Just like they gave you that free sample box of Crunchy Honey Oats, and now you’re hooked.
Beanpie: That is a great idea!!!
Tailgate: I still think you should go with the t-shirts.
Beanpie: Whatev, I have to go out and get some small bottles. Thanks babe.
Lisa: No problem, after what I went through to get YOUR stuff back the least you can do is sell it.
Beanpie & Tailgate: What do you do Lisa?
Lisa: Not right now, I am going to eat my breakfast in peace.
Scene 2: Beanpie heads over to Hank’s store to pick up the small bottles.
Clerk: Can I help you?
Beanpie: Yes, I’m looking for small plastic bottles.
Clerk: They are in the back near the cooler. Are you another one of those vendors?
Beanpie: Yes I am, and also a friend of Hank.
Clerk: You know my grandfather too? He talks to everyone. You know he’s been here forever. I don’t know why though. I keep telling him to retire. I’d run the store for him. By the way, I’m Andy.
Beanpie: And I’m Beanpie. You would take over? That is great. Keeping the store in the family.
Andy: Well, I don’t think I would keep it in the family. I’d sell it, and collect the money. I know some folks that would pay good money for this spot.
Beanpie: You mean you wouldn’t keep the store? This is a great location, and he has a lot of regular customers. That takes a lot to get regular customers.
Andy: I know all that, but the asking price for the property alone is huge. I would do something totally different.
Beanpie: I guess to each his or her own.
*Beanpie goes and gets the bottles and returns to the counter.
Andy: Is that all?
Beanpie: Yeah that should do it.
Andy: Here you go, and take it easy.
Beanpie: Thanks, have a good one.
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