Story by: Ccep J. Dew
westcoasteditor@eXcapethematriX.com
For a long time, I thought my life would be easier if I were male. Maybe my “superiors” wouldn’t question my thoughts and actions as often. Maybe my firm demeanor wouldn’t be taken as bitchy and when I finally snap, no one would whisper about “that time of the month”. And people wouldn’t look at me sideways when they find out I’ve always wanted to play football… Or that I used to love climbing trees and jumping off of walls… Or that I’m pretty handy with a hammer and a tool kit because my mother is the same way… Maybe, if I were a boy, this would all be acceptable…
And my relationships—and consequently the love that I share within them—would be acceptable…
I have a few female friends who I love and admire, but there are always those unspoken questions when having a platonic relationship with someone of the opposite sex: Are we spending too much time together? Are we getting too attached to one another? Does he think this relationship is more than a friendship? Are either of us crossing a line? Those same-sex platonic relationships are so much easier to handle. I can tell my best female friend that I love her and miss her. I can tell my other friend that she looks beautiful today. I can brag about the fact that another best friend went on vacation, wrote a message to me in the sand, took a picture, and displayed it for everyone to see because she cares about me. But, how many eyebrows would rise if I, a married woman, told a guy friend, “I love you and I miss you,” or “You look so handsome in that suit and you smell really good”? Don’t lie; your eyebrows are probably already touching your hairline!
For a long time, I thought my life would be easier if I were male. Maybe my “superiors” wouldn’t question my thoughts and actions as often. Maybe my firm demeanor wouldn’t be taken as bitchy and when I finally snap, no one would whisper about “that time of the month”. And people wouldn’t look at me sideways when they find out I’ve always wanted to play football… Or that I used to love climbing trees and jumping off of walls… Or that I’m pretty handy with a hammer and a tool kit because my mother is the same way… Maybe, if I were a boy, this would all be acceptable…
And my relationships—and consequently the love that I share within them—would be acceptable…
I have a few female friends who I love and admire, but there are always those unspoken questions when having a platonic relationship with someone of the opposite sex: Are we spending too much time together? Are we getting too attached to one another? Does he think this relationship is more than a friendship? Are either of us crossing a line? Those same-sex platonic relationships are so much easier to handle. I can tell my best female friend that I love her and miss her. I can tell my other friend that she looks beautiful today. I can brag about the fact that another best friend went on vacation, wrote a message to me in the sand, took a picture, and displayed it for everyone to see because she cares about me. But, how many eyebrows would rise if I, a married woman, told a guy friend, “I love you and I miss you,” or “You look so handsome in that suit and you smell really good”? Don’t lie; your eyebrows are probably already touching your hairline!
If I were a guy, maybe I could say how I feel without being cautious that it could be misinterpreted by outside parties. Maybe I could simply say “I love you” more often and more earnestly to all the people who matter to me without having to add “in a strictly plutonic way” to my guy friends and “in a strictly heterosexual way” to my girl friends. It would be more like, “I love you, dude,” and “I love you, girl.” I’m thinking now I would be a smooth, charismatic dude!
Guy relationships don’t seem to get so emotional. They don’t whine or sulk when their best friend is hanging out with someone else today. I’d be jealous because after all, she’s my best friend. Not guys; they just find something else to do until their homeboy drops by for a game of Madden.
And I wouldn’t be expected to wear a bra everyday. Guys can walk around the neighborhood shirtless, in basketball shorts, but let me try walking around town topless in my panties! I’d be headed straight to jail and/or all over the internet. Guys can sit with their legs open, but it’s “unlady-like” if I do it. What’s up with that?
Guy relationships don’t seem to get so emotional. They don’t whine or sulk when their best friend is hanging out with someone else today. I’d be jealous because after all, she’s my best friend. Not guys; they just find something else to do until their homeboy drops by for a game of Madden.
And I wouldn’t be expected to wear a bra everyday. Guys can walk around the neighborhood shirtless, in basketball shorts, but let me try walking around town topless in my panties! I’d be headed straight to jail and/or all over the internet. Guys can sit with their legs open, but it’s “unlady-like” if I do it. What’s up with that?
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